do i have real guy friends? i think i do, but my friends might say im not a real friend.
'they think, for instance, that im their friend, but im not. it's ok. they're not my friend either'
Men and Their Hidden Feelings by RICHARD COHEN
i read this article 3 tiems.. i feel like i lost my guy friends after i read this article. isn't it funny.?
whenever i think about my guy friends, they are my beer friends, or conversation friends or just friends that say hi, or maybe real my friends. before i read this article, i thought i have many real guy friends that i can talk about my everything, however, there are just few of them.
when i want to talk about serious stuff, usually i don't tell my guy friends. not because i don't believe them just becuase i feel uncomfortable. 'do they think im crazy? do they think im homo?' so i talk to female friends or family.
after i came to the united states, it became worse. most of my american friends are muscular and they don't talk about girly things. if i talk about my problem and serious stuff, they will laught at me and they are not gonna look at me like before they did. i think that's because here in the united states more have gay people than back in my country. i will give an example, at my age back in korea, most people listen to ballads than hip hop or rap. but in here, united states, if someone listens ballads, they are treated as gay or WEIRD guy.
but it is cultural difference, so it doesn't matter.
i think there is something else between males that females cannot think about it.
so is there something between females that males do not know? tell me
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7 comments:
First of all, I want to doubt that have you ever tried to confide in your guy friends here in the United States? I think maybe the problem is from ourselves. Why do I say this? Most men have an embarrassment to tell their pals about how they feel, so we restrict ourselves to try it. Once you try it, maybe things turn out in an opposite way. "cross over the bridge, there’s a lot of love on the streets.” One more thing to tell you, confiding feelings is not the matter. The matter is when you get into a trouble, will they come to help you?
of course i have treid to confide my friends. they didn't take it seriously or didn't care except some of my friends
i have many american friends on the campus and i have the coolest american friends here too. i bet i have a lot of american friends more than the people who i know
i think it is becasue of cultureal thing. when you think about the people between your country and here in the united states, you know people in the united states are more selfish than your country. i've heard a lot when i was in my country.
it is just cultural thing.
↑Jake Yoon
I have a lot of friends but I have no friend? (leslie)
I noticed your discussion over this topic, and actually both of you have your points and demonstrated one aspect of the same issue.
In present day society, people are complaining about no real friendship, especially the adults in the middle of their careers, whose lives are filled with more and more competition and expectation or desires.
To young people, or students, I think it's still the good time to make good friends. To me, I think the friends I made in my school years are my real friends and can go for the whole life, since we established our friendship on sincerity. After you get into society, you will find it's harder to make many real friends. Therefore, I want to suggest you that treasure your school years and make many real friends, and spend more time to keep them, because they are your treasure in your life.
Don't presume that your friends won't accept your problems or share your feelings. Why not give them a chance and have a try? As you said, try everything when you are young. Maybe you will find some real friends when you are showing a complete you.
I think that through our life we meet many people. There are a lot of good people and a lot of bad people. Most of them seem to be great people, however not too many of these people actually turned into friends. On the whole, I think that you will make a lot associates and only a few real friends throughout your life.
With all this being said, I also noticed that the tight circle of friends that I do have are far more considerate than any other of the associates that I met here in the U.S. or India. Simply because we have built a stronger relationship through experience and so on, which makes us (male or female) more likely to listen to any concerns or anything considered out of the norm of our behavior to our respective gender.
I believe that most of the college students that I meet are like beer friends. They don't have too many intelligent conversations just superficial ones like about girls and getting drunk. So I can't really expect them to understand any serious issues. Also, the students that I met whom I confided in thinking that they were real friends turned their backs to me because they thought such questions and concerns were weaknesses. Ultimately, I noticed that they were selfish and vain because everything they did was in attempts to gain acceptance from other people to move up in the college’s social ranks.
Regardless of all these things I make it a point to be myself and ignore what people think in regards to how a man or a women "SHOULD" act.
Friends are people who are always there for you, no matter you remember them or forget them (Leslie)
I believe that friends are always ready to help each other. I don't take those demanding "friends", and to them I give little help, but to others who expect little from me, I give out all I can.
That's why I also try to expect nothing from others and I find that it brings me more help and less disppointment.
And I tend to depend more on myself than on others, and try to desire no more than what I can get within my capability. It might put too much pressure on myself, but at least I don't have complaints about little assistance from others.
i feel like there are two kinds of friendships. one is just friends for saying hi, and the others are real friends who know me and can have a real conversation.
i don't mean that all of my american friends are fake and just think about themselves. but most of them are like think about their profits. this is not just from my thoughts, this is from the conversation what i had with my american friends
Jake yoon
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