Ms.Naderi was married at sixteen to a man she chose on her own. Her mother and grandmother ded not spealk to her for ten years.
That "tradition" reminded me the tradition in ancient China. There are some similar stuffs between them.
First, the pattern. In ancient China, the parents decided the person who you will marry with. That's very common, the couples haven't seen each other until the wedding. They usually don't know the personality of another one, and how dose he or she look like. By the same token, Afghans did the same processes. Maybe, there is a little different, only for women.
Second, the marrige ages. According the context, Afghan women get married at 16 years old, and to be engaged at only 13 years old. Such as Ms. Naderi, she was married at 16 years old. In my opinion, one of the reasons why the girls get married so early is that Afghans don't allowd females to get education. So, they needn't stay in schools at that age. In ancient China, females were not allowed to go to schools, too. As well as Afghan females, they were married roughly the same age. For example, my grandmother were married at 16.
Maybe we can call these phenomenon "TRADITION". However, in my mind, tradition is some really good custom handed down to us from our ancestors. So, I don't think these are traditions , at least, not good traditions.
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2 comments:
when i saw this article , the first impression comed to my mind is same as yours, i felt doubt and even angry. where is woman's right? how can they gain happiness in their whole life? but after i think over again, i try to understand them. although this tradition doesn't give any right to woman, some of them still accpet . the reason is they born with and grow up from their nations. if disobeying the arragement will break the relationship with parents and relatives, they will choose to sacrifice the happiness. its' the charm of tradition . if we can't accept or understand it, why not just respce it generously.
A good comparison with Chinese traditions (Leslie)
It seems history repeats itself and so does tradition in different countries.
There is an amazing similary between Afghan women's marriage and Chinese women's marriage. So many novels and movies have been devoted to the description to their sad stories.
It was not uncommon for Chinese women to get married at 16 in old days. So did my grandmother.
You did a great job to bring in such an comparison, though you might do more, such as the husband's attitude toward wives, the social expectation to women or wives, wives were taken as the possession of the husband, no schooling, no contact with other people, etc.
If you do a little more research, you might even find more similar examples in other countries as well as their traditions.
Then what is the root of it? Is it decided by man-dominated society? What is going on in nowaday world? Is it still a man-dominated society?
A lot more thought-provoking questions.
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