Intro: Barack Hussein Obama is the first African American be elected the president of the largest and most developed country in the World, is a figure as the cornerstone in American history. He defeat John McCain in 2008. He is 44th and current president of the United State. He was born on February 4th, 1961. He is from Honolulu, Hawaii.
Thesis Statement: How he became a president.
Body
Paragraph1: Why did he became the first African American president?
Paragraph2: How do some American still have racial discrimination?
Paragraph3: What can the minority races can hope for and get from the United States hosted by African American?
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2 comments:
Instead of "how he became a president", the thesis statement should be, "what has the election of an African-American president brought to America?"
The introduction to Obama and his process of campaigning should not be the main contents. You'd better concentrate on the new hope his election brings to America, about racial discrimination, about American dream, about one can success no matter from what kind of background, etc.
Try to focus on this kind of deeper meanings.
Leslie
By the way, two pictures are same, so pick one. But you can also find better picture than just his photos.
Leslie
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