As I did not practice how to write a well structured essay, I was placed in the beginning class for writing when I first arrived in Minnesota. The reason why I left Korea to live for five months in Minnesota, is due to the fact that I had to study English. At that time, I felt desperate and eager to get in the higher class. Even though I was placed in an average English class in Korea, I had to start from the beginning in the United States. Nevertheless, I was in the beginner class, I started even harder than higher class students. Once I entered the beginner’s class, I felt a sense of regret. I regretted to have not studied as hard as I should have when I was in Korea. It was a blow to my ego to know that I had to start all the way at the bottom when my goal was to reach for the top. I was desperate to leave the beginner’s class and therefore, studied night and day to earn my rightful spot in the highest class. I entered the room with a heavy backpack slung on my shoulders. Feeling the weight of it left me feeling even more disheartened. I looked around the room to see ten seated students in front of me. As it was their first day of class, I could sense their anxiousness as they shyly greeted one another. They were highly anticipating their first day here in class, and seeing that eagerness, I began to think otherwise. There was no need for me to feel disappointed with myself. Instead, I needed what they had: enthusiasm. It was from that moment on that I decided to turn my negative perception on entering this beginner’s class, and work twice as hard as anyone around me to achieve my goal.
It was the summer of 2007, three months after I entered the beginner’s class, that I reached my goal and entered the higher English class. Two months later, I graduated with the higher English class. As I have successfully finished the four stages of E.S.L, I realized my writing skills cannot be improved all of a sudden: you have to be patient. There are steps involved in order to be an accomplished writer. Improving my writing skills was hard for me. Struggling every night with an essay and finding every definition of words with dictionary was a daily routine. I remember having my dictionary with me every day and took it everywhere I went. It was the equivalent of my cell phone. Every day I trained myself to be a better writer by just simply writing. As Walter Wellesley said, “There’s nothing to write. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein” (Walter Wellesley “Red” Smith). I would sit down in front of my computer and wrote of every thought that entered my mind. They could have been fragments, incomplete sentences, or even incomplete thoughts, I still typed it out. Every single night when I was struggling with my essays, this quote gave me a power to write a good essay. I have nothing to write but all I have to do is sit down in front of computer and open a vein.
Once I became a college student, there were two options for writing an essay: one is to get a good grade, the other one is try to be a good writer. Of course, it is better to have both choices but it was hard for me to do both since I am taking more than one English class. As I am an international student, writing an English essay that is 5 or 6 pages long was not easy for me. Nevertheless, I have learned Korean for twenty years and it is still hard for me to write a plausible Korean essay. Therefore, for a student who has only studied in the United States for one and a half years hard to write well structured essay.
Writing classes are necessary for international students and also Americans. There is no perfect writer, but there are good writers. It means that there is no limit to learn how to write well. As I have taken English 1F and currently taking English 2F, I realize that even if I finish this class, I have to practice writing as hard as I did before. This class gave me the direction on how to write well, and to prepare me for my other classes. Writing classes in college gave me another reason as to why I have to practice writing. When I was in Minnesota studying English, one of the reasons why I practiced hard in writing was to get into the higher writing class. However, now as I am a college student, writing for me means more than just a class or a grade. I need good writing skills to work in the United States after I graduate from college.
When I look back at the beginning of my college life, my writing skills have changed tremendously. I take pride in my works and I am confident when I speak and write in English. I have come a long way from the beginning of my writing career. If I hadn’t embraced my imperfections and my disadvantage in English, I wouldn’t have had the will to push forward. Sri Chinmoy, an Indian poet who studied in New York:
“If I cannot forgive myself for all the blunders
That I have made over the years,
Then how can I proceed?
How can I ever dream perfection-dreams?
Move, I must, forward.
Fly, I must, upward.
Dive, I must, inward,
To be once more
What I truly am
And shall forever remain.”
“There is nothing to write. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.” Flickr.
March 29, 2008. December 14, 2008
< http://flickr.com/photos/thenocturnalwench/2371201713/in/set-72157594371204530/>
“If I cannot forgive myself.” PoetSeers.
December 14, 2008
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