I Can Do Better (Susan)

“Mom, I received a letter from grandpa. Can you believe it?”

“Oh, really? Well, finally…”

I am not surprised with my mom’s response. We all do not expect a letter from my grandpa from my father side. In my mind, I almost grew up with my grandpa and grandma from my mother side. Mom sent me to their home in the morning and picked me up when she finished her work. When I was young, I had no idea that why I did not go to the home of grandpa from father side frequently. All I knew was that I was not very welcomed. I have tried to ask mom why we did not go to grandpa’s home. Every time she told me the same words: when you grow up, you will know.

Several years later, my aunt had a baby boy. We were so excited about it, especially my grandparents from my father side. As time goes on, I gradually realized that grandparents treated my little brother so well that I became a little envy. They would buy everything he wanted and try their best to let the little boy satisfy. I always said to myself, “Susan, you have grown up. You are no longer a little girl. Grandparents treated him like that was because he was young.” However, this kind of comfort does not work all the time.

“Look at your little cousin. How great he is. He got an A in the exam. You should learn.”

"Your little cousin’s teacher praised him today. Try harder, Susan.”

……

Every weekend when I went to grandparents’ home to have dinner, I would hear those words. In their eyes, Bob was always the best. But they didn’t know was that I was better. As time goes on, I was used to those words. However, gradually the time I went to grandparents’ home became less and less.

“Susan, it is time to go aboard.”

“Well, I know. But…” I tried hard to find grandparents from my father side in the crowd. However, I failed.

“I know what you are thinking about. Trust me. One day, they would realize you are the best, even better than those boys.”

"OK, bye, mom,” a factitious smile appeared on my face. So did mom.

Time flows away. I have no idea whether grandparents from my father side still remember they have ever had a granddaughter who was living far away from them. Until that day, I received a letter.

“My dearest granddaughter:

How is everything going these days? I hope you do well on everything.

I haven’t written a letter for a long time since your father and uncle graduated from the college. Twenty years later, when I pick up the pen again and want to write about something, I have no idea that where I can start, especially to you, my dearest granddaughter.

I still remember that when you were young, you always liked to sit around me and listened to me telling stories. You were a smart girl. Whatever I told and taught to you, you would learn fast and well. Every time when you took your teacher’s praise back home, we were also very happy. Those days were so beautiful. However, we always took it for granted since you were smart enough. We never gave you applauding.
These days, I tried hard to pick up some images of those days we spent together when you grew up. But I could not find them. Suddenly, I realized that we haven’t seen you for a long time. Since your cousin was born, he seemed to be the center of our family. At the same time, we pay little attention on you since we thought you have become to be an adult. However, we did not realize this kind of thought might hurt you.

Your grandma and I talked so much of your childhood these days. And we also wondered whether you have a wonderful college life now or not. Several days ago, when we heard from your father that there was something wrong with your passport and visa, and you almost cannot get on board when you transferred at Korean airport, we are so worried. Your grandmother asked me several times what was going on. We can do nothing for you except waiting for your call. Later we heard that you have quarreled with the officers at the airport and finally you got the chance to get on board, we all took a deep breath. I said to myself that my granddaughter is great, even better than many boys.

My dearest daughter, you have grown up. It seems that you are no longer that little girl who likes to cry for even tiny things. We don’t expect you to be an outstanding person, only if you are happy and healthy. And I know you are always the best. Ah, I was glad that finally I realized that I and your grandma did something unfair to you. My dearest granddaughter, we are so sorry. Can you forgive the two old people who eager to hear your voice and you calling us grandpa and grandma?
Please remember, we love you so much.”

Looking at grandfather’s writing and those simple words, I was so excited and I could not help crying. Mom was right, finally, grandpa and grandma did realize I can do as well as those boys, or even better.