Dec 14, 2009

Something talks

A quiet night, on the way I go back home, I drive alone, it’s so dark and quiet outside, I can only hear a sound of car engine.
This is the same way which I drive before, the car is the same car, but the feeling is not as usual, like something is missing, maybe someone is missing. He was gone. One of my best friends was gone as the other friends.
I was surprised that there are so many friends already left me, someone transferred, and someone went back to china or to another city in United States. Now, no one will press horn when I was driving any more, no one will watch the horror movie all the night with me anymore, and no one will have party with me and hang out with me anymore. All of them are already gone. Now I was left alone, and some good memories also left. Sometime I asked myself: what the hell happened. Is all of this called life?
Looking back to last semester, I had a lot of happy time. We meet in the same ESL class, we are the classmate, though initially we didn't know each other, and never talk with each other except do the class discussion. But when we got together for a long time and we know the each other well then we became talkative, we ate together, study together, play together, do everything together. We became best friends.
I still remember, at that time, I still lived in the school, you guys come to my dormitory, and I bought some wine and food, we got together and drank wine and ate food, there is a lot of candle and stars around us, we listening to the music and drinking the wine, and then we watched movie, we got a lot of fun, everyone enjoyed a lot. That is our first party.
Last year on Halloween, we went to Manhattan together, we saw the Halloween parade, a lot of people disguised themselves as grotesque, but we did not, we took a lot of pictures, and walked for a long time, someone suggest to go to club, all of us agreed and excited, but we didn't go finally because I am under 21 years old and cannot enter club. That's a really disappointing.
We also have good time in Miami, that is our first trip, we went Miami, before we start off, we bought a lot of food, just like instant noodle, our trip is not like a real trip, but like picnic. On the first we go the beach and play with the ocean wave, we all exciting, running on the beach and swimming in the sea. Everyone was happy, at night, our dinner is not good as I hope, we ate instant noodle, even though we ate instant noodle we all very happy, because we all together, we share the time the happiness together, that is the most important. At night, in order to celebrate our trip, we bought some win, and drinking, talking, I remember at that night all of us got drunk, we talked a lot. In the Miami trip, we rent a car and went to west key, and really have good time there, and also took a lot of pictures there.
I never forget, that day is your birthday, we plan it carefully, we hope give you a surprised, when you came into the room which is already decorated by us, you are shocked, you were very surprised and happy, I can saw through your face, that is a wonderful night, candle, illumination, wine, music, and cake. Everyone said: happy birthday to you, you are really happy which I had never seen before. So the plan was success. At that night, I got drunk.
We really got a lot of funny before, but now, all of this is gone, it never happened in this semester, I become alone, go to school alone, ate alone, study alone, I become more and more don't like to go out, and just stay home, do nothing, after class, I just go back home, and stay with my computer, I was down. I even don't know what was happened to me, why I changed a lot, I become a stranger to myself, become one who didn't know who I am. I hate living like that, I even found that I couldn’t live as normal without friendship, I hope I can find the happiness like last semester, all the time, when I saw the pictures and videos which we took last semester, I cried, I really want to go back to last semester, really want stay with you guys, play with you guys. But I don't know why I just become like this, become have no interested in do anything.
I told to myself a lot of times: come on, you should cheer up, and no longer go on decadence. Yes, that is true, I couldn't go on like this, and I must cheer up, Keep going on, there is a better tomorrow are waiting for me.

3 comments:

Leslie said...

Don't always look back. Planing for future~ You will have better life with your new friends. by the way, if you wanna watch horror movie, you can ask me ~ I love it

YEN-CHIEH CHEN

CoramDeo said...

Your writing expressed your lonliness so well.
Hope you can find true one, who can cure all your hurt soon.

Leslie said...

One of the most important things is challenge for the future with brave of heart. ^^ (Young Ho)