About my life (BoningZhang)

About my life

Since I was 9 years old, English has been a part of my life. I use English to read, to talk and to write. However, almost all of my English writing have same aim: Finish the assignment which teacher gave me or for English exam. I like to write dairy but all of my dairy was written in Chinese. I remember that once I tried to use English to describe my emotion at that time, but I deleted all I wrote because I found the thing which I wrote is to far away from what I thought. So I am a man who learn English for 10 years but never write something in it by my own aspiration. However, this is the time to break that rule. This time I will write something which is really about myself, and what I really want to write.I don’t want use any template which I used for exam. I don’t want to choose any topic which I didn’t like, I want to use my own worlds to describe my own life.
Since I had memory, happiness was around me. Good family, good friends and good quality of life even though I didn’t realize this at that age. I’m a smart boy, but not a hard working boy, my parents and teacher alway said, “If you put a half of your effort, you will succeed fast!” I put a lot of effort when I was a public school student. But after I joined in junior high school, my effort got worse day after day. Fortunately my little smartness can support me to enter a good senior high school, though not the best one. My parents was angry at that time, because they thought that I should have the chance to best senior high school in my home town. That was the first time I let them disappointed so much. From that time, I decided to work hard and try my best to avoid my parents disappointed again. On my first grade in junior high school, I put a lot of pressure on my study, as my wish, I got A at all of my courses. However, I felt headache and some “white snow” always appeared in front of my eyes even when I closed my eyes. My father took me to hospital, doctor said my veins in rhombencephalon was pressing the visual area of my brain. Doctor gave me some Chinese medicine and told me just relax. My parents conversed with me at that time. They made a plan for me: Study abroad. From that moment, I places great emphasis on English. Of course, I feel more relax than before, but my classmate couldn’t relax at all. I didn’t treasure the study life any more, because the aim is easy to get. I attend a course which called International Foundation Year when I was 17 years old, it’s a course in order to traning the Chinese student adapte to the study style at aborad. We had lot of free time, we can do anything we want. However, since that time, I really felt how I cherish the memory of my senior high school life. I cherish every piece of memory in my brain which have relationship with senior high school. Also, that kind of feelling was happend again when I graduated from IFY. All of my friends which I met in IFY are so nice and I will never forget them. After the happiness time with all of my friends. The plane was took me off with all of my memorize and missing.
I started my life in America, it’s hard to adapted to the life in a different country with different culture and different langrage without parents and friends. I miss all of my friends in China and it’s always let me down. I’d like to read their blog when I felt bored. I found they still walk on the way, the one who used to sad was still sad. The happy one was still happy. The one who got the boring life was still continuing as usual. Actually I didn’t know which one I belong to. I think I am an optimistic person, so I can deal with lot of problem by using smile, but when I felt sad. The sadness would full of my mind. I used to say a sentence: Life is always like a boring class, we need to find the incitation. But it was hard to find at that time. Except you deliberately got F on exam. I picked up my phone to gossip with my friend or make a good conversation with my parents. I take my soccer to enjoy the feeling when I shoot the goal. I missed so much of the life in China. The life in senior high school, such as the high pressure study life or the exciting soccer game even though the time is limited. Also the life in IFY, we saw the scared movie together, we discussed what breakfast we want to eat in the next morning. And the best time of party, everybody got drunk and slept on the floor. I count the time to go back home day after day. I have regretted sometime. I think about why I chose to study here? What the propose of me when I make this decision? I don’t want lose my mind , I don’t want see my parents face with full of disappointed once again. But I had nothing to do when I felt confused. That thought is around me for a long time. Until one day, I found a method to enjoy my own life at here, and to concentrated my mind. When I finish something, whatever it’s important or not, I would to enjoy the happiness which it lead to me. Even thought it’s small, but little happiness can let me cheer up for a long time, this time is enough for me to created another one. So I keep going, I did better and better. The problem which I deal with are get more and more. The experience and improvement let me felt better. I tried not to complain about so many things. The only thing I will complain is complain about myself, complain about the effort is not enough, it should be more than what I put before. I change my sorrow into force, the force to push me going forward. I change the missing to apology, the apology to my friend which I should apologize for. The only thing I can’t change to others is my memory, I keep this in my mind, when I met some things which is familiar as before, the memory would come out and let me look through. I let my view keep forward, I always can see the beautiful future is waiting me. That makes me go on with hope. I changed a lot without feeling it by myself. That’s what my friend told me when I back to my home town in China. They said, “ You look so different than before you go aboard.” I felt gratifying when I heard that, because I know, at less I got improvement in the process of study in America. My parents also told me, “ You will have long time to go on in the future, do it better!” I think maybe that is the purpose for them, they want me to get more chance in future, they want me to improve more by myself. They don’t want me to become a flower in green-house . They want me to face on all of problem and difficulty , and find the way to deal with them. Finally learn the essence and remember it. When I went back to school this semester, I had more thing to do, I had more opportunity. Of course I had more friends than before. I would share my happiness and sadness with them.
I think I will end this article here, because this is the life which I am living right now. But my life story has not stopped, I have a long way to go. I hope I can go further. I hope I will not stop. I try my best to progress step by step. I will write another article when I have another kind of experience for myself and point of view. I’ m sure it will happen in the future. I believe I can do better in the future.