Writing is a Tool to know about Myself

by Ako Ando

I loved to write something when I was very young. I was always with a pen and a notebook when I went to somewhere with my family because I had have wanted to be an author of children’s books since I was in a kindergarten to an elementary school. I wrote a story even though I was in jazz club with my parents. When I didn’t have a notebook in a restaurant, I always wrote something on the back side of a place mat and a drip mat which were made of paper. I made and wrote a lot of stories and pictures and I still keep those notebooks in my house. I sometimes let my parents read them and sometimes I didn’t show them to anyone. I have asked Santa Claus to prepare many picture books when I was 7 years old. The middle finger of my right hand was changed its shape because of a big corn and it is still a little bit strange. I have written not only picture books but also novels and cartoons, but I hate to write diary at that time. However, somehow I didn’t come to write stories gradually as I grew up. Instead of that, I came to write diary often before I went bed or when I wanted to think about something deeply. I was getting to know the importance to write diary for me.
I still love to write something but only when I can write freely. Pens and notebooks are always my best friends. Therefore, writing is basically very enjoyable for me. However, it is not always enjoyable for me. Even though I don’t hate the course writing, it is sometimes very annoying for me depending on topic. I am often struggled with my essay and it is difficult for me to have a strong opinion. As one of my friends said in her presentation, I also tend to be neutral. Perhaps, that is the most serious problem of mine on the process of brainstorming. Therefore, I often use a lot of time to think about the topic. Before I start writing, it is so annoying for me, but once I start writing, sometimes I can enjoy it very much. It is very similar to the situation that before and after I take a bath.
I think writing something is to know about myself. I write my diary almost every day for 5 years by Japanese, though. When I am confused about something, I wrote down whatever I want like free-writing. It is very helpful to organize my thoughts and opinion. I often realize what I want to do or what I should do through writing diary. When I find a lyric that is very similar to my mind, I often quote it in my diary. I always try to be honest when I write something in my diary. It gets rid of my stress and it naturally becomes the record of my life track. Some people talk to their stuffed animals or their pets in order to organize their brain or remove their stress. In my case, I talk to my diary. Perhaps, I talk to myself through my diary.
It is very interesting to read the past diaries and I often realize something new from the old diaries. While I read old diaries, I feel…oh, I was changed or how childish I was!! However, I also feel… I didn’t grow up mentally comparing before and now in some part. So I can know about myself deeper through writing and reading diary.
Of course, I regard the writing course as a totally different thing from diary because I can write whatever I want in my diary but I have to think about readers’ point of view when I write essay in the course. However, I still think both of them are very good to know about myself because we need to think deeply when we try to write something good or something interesting. So for me, writing is to know about myself, and it is also a good record of my life track.
Finally, to be a good writer, I think it is necessary to have a specific purpose. Before start writing, we should ask myself…What do I want to do through my work?...Do I want to persuade someone by my essay?...Do I want to attract people by my poem? or...Do I want to inform something to people? And so on.
Besides, one more important thing for me to be a good writer is trying not to be a narcissist when I write something. When I am so excited to write something, I sometimes get drunk on my work even though it doesn’t make any sense. Therefore, we need to see our work objectively from the third person.